no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
