Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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