considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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