somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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