i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
