Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
