my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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