Do you still have your period?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it was like eating out sand paper
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
