And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
