dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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