I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
