Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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