for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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