is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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