It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
