Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
