hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
