fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
