that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
