just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's even glitter on my cock...
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