butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
