There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
