what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
