you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
God I need to hump something, right now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
