I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
