maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
