we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
