Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
