i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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