im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
