It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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