NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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