i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
