how can u be prego again
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Randomize
