u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
