It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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