he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
