If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
