I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
