I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
