11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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