Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
