I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
