super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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