summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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