there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
