fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's always time for handjobs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
