I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
