my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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