i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
